Sometimes it worked and I would eventually find a seat in the cafeteria to call my very own. Other times it didn’t work, and I would get really good at finding ways to hide keep occupied during the long lunch break.  Then, when I got older and I was in high school (ahhh. High School. pshht.) , I knew what it felt like to walk into a crowded cafeteria filled with people you DID know and STILL not have a seat to call your very own. It was about that time that I started shutting down.

I stopped putting myself out there. I stopped connecting. And I started being a spectator.
In recent years, I have broken down the walls I built up, realizing that if I wanted to make connections, I had to be available. I had to take part in things instead of simply wishing I was taking part. I can’t just show up and expect people to automatically find a seat for me. I had to find my own damn seat. I had to craft my own space. And while I can’t please everyone…at least I wouldn’t be shutting myself off from new opportunities and experiences.

And so it goes with the blogging world. I started this blog a few years back as a forum for my intended graduate work. With life comes change, and what it was, well, it just wasn’t working for me anymore. So it is what it is. And just what is that?

I think of it as “just a blog.” My own part of the sidewalk to chalk up however I like. But I am not just a blogger. I am also a mother. And for some reason, that seems to instantly relegate me to “mommyblog” status. And I am totally fine with that. I am making amazing connections through the network of blogging moms. And so many of these women are helpful and kind and friendly, and they are more than willing to let me sit at their table for lunch. But I had to start showing up at lunchtime first.

I don’t really have a niche yet. I may never find a dedicated topic of specialization, and that’s okay. I’m not sure I really need to, because this lunchroom is suiting me just fine.